Why You Should Ride the Chicken Bus...

It´s been 10 days since my last blog entry, many apologies...Now that I am back in Xela, I felt it was time to reflect on my recent chicken bus journey from Antigua.

Riding the Chicken Bus is an experience most tourists avoid as they sit in the climate-controlled comfort of the Pullman bus (1st class bus), comparing tchotchke purchases from over-priced mercados. The 1st class bus is truly an unfortunate choice, as they are slower and in my opinion, far less entertaining.

On my recent 7 hour journey from Antigua to Xela (via Guatemala City in a torrential downpour), I had the pleasure of reflecting on my tips for riding the Chicken Bus in style here in Guatemala:

First of all, when you enter a Chicken Bus, it is preferable to hurl yourself into the retrofitted school bus through the rear emergency door. In my opinion, this adds to the excitement and you will feel the slight thrill of directly breathing exhaust fumes.

Make sure to sit in close proximity to the front of the bus. This will allow you an excellent view of the traveling salesmen as they show you alarming photographs of various moles, warts, lesions and other possible travesties that are easily cured with their miracle cream. On the bus from Guatemala City to Xela on Monday, I was fortunate enough to have a traveling salesman who doubled as an evangelical preacher. This resulted in a nearly hour long discussion of how warts and negativity are closely related. He also had photographs of Barack Obama´s infected toenails to further prove his cause. (For the record, much to my shock, I would say he sold at least 7 tubes of miracle cream on my bus.)

If at all possible, grab a window seat. This will allow you, when the bus reaches capacity of 8 persons across (that´s right...3 on each bench, 2 suspended by the pressure of the 6 others in an astounding defiance of gravity), to at least have one half of your body touching a neutral surface.

For entertainment on your bus rides, count the number of people who attempt to sell you ice cream cones from a cooler before 9 am in the morning. My top count so far (direct bus to Panajachel in July) = 6.

Befriend your neighbors. Guatemalans are extremely friendly and helpful. Just be forewarned: you may end up holding a screaming baby for a couple hours while mom sleeps on your shoulder.

If you are at all prone to motion sickness, take a double-dose of medication beforehand. Fortunately, as my family knows well, my only symptom is overwhelming sleepiness. In a school bus traveling 100 mph on mountain roads, this can result in other unfortunate side effects for some.

And off to the next adventure...A final dinner here in Xela with my teacher and her wonderful children.

And next time, pictures of the volcano climb! I can promise real lava and near death experiences.

Buena suerte!