Don't drink coffee? How do you pass the time here in Xela?

I have unwavering confidence that in the years to come, when people ask what I miss most about Xela, it will be the long afternoons spent chatting and people-watching over coffee. The cafe culture here in Xela is thriving, in part to the lack of any chain coffee shops. The uniqueness of the cafe atmosphere is not violated by the uniformity of the white and green cup and overstuffed pastry case. Starbucks has no place here.

Of course, I will not begin to bash Starbucks. I can recall many joyful life moments by the Starbucks I frequented at the time. I can remember nearly weeping, yes weeping, with joy when I found the Starbucks in Heathrow after more than a month of only instant coffee in India. (This deprivation was made even worse by no coffee at all for nearly a week, during which I consumed mass quantities of milky tea in hot pursuit of the 'kick' that coffee provides the sore body after a long run in diesel-filled climes.)

I can still taste the salty tears in my venti coffee, even if I was forced to use only milk to soften its blow (is half-n-half solely an American wonder?), at the Starbucks in Lima on the day I left Ecuador. Alone and wondering what I would do in Lima solo until Corey arrived, I ended up seeking comfort in one of my favorite indulgences.

Not only do I not miss Starbucks here in Xela, but the view from my favorite cafe is hardly comparable with that of the lovely Potomac Yards parking lot:

This is Parque Central, as seen from El Balcon del Enriques in Xela. The best drinks here are the cappuccino (for those who like their coffee 'suave'), the cafe con leche (members of the 'fuerte' club), and the chocolate con leche (for the non-coffee drinkers, lovers and sugar-addicted). And of course, it is absolutely necessary to close your cafe experience with a 1 quetzal mini-macaroon.

Part of the reason I enjoy El Balcon is for its people-watching advantages. Through personal experiences, I have learned that spying on others is the third-most popular sport in Xela. Like any self-respecting Guatemalan town, the most popular pasttime is futbol (soccer). Second to futbol is comparing prices paid for fruits and vegetables in various market stalls throughout the city. "You paid 8 quetzales for a papaya?! That's so expensive!" Yes, I did. I will happily pay $1 US for a papaya anytime.

And ranking a close third here in Xela: spying on other people.

In order to best "people-watch", the balcony provides multiple long-legged seats so neck exhaustion is easily avoided. I learned, from my Spanish teacher and her family, that the best way to people-watch is to keep your cell phone handy for texting and subversive picture taking. Since Xela is a small town, it usually takes approximately 3 - 4 minutes to spy a familiar face (that's for me...imagine if you actually lived here!). If you are lucky, that friend will be accompanied by a stranger! Take a picture! Text to friends and family immediately! Commence speculation.

People-watching is only part of the sport that is spying. The other key component is to then report your findings to the person, in a non-confrontational but "gotcha" manner. Today, at lunch, Tia Margarita asked me, "Muñeca, why did you go to Cafe El Cuartito yesterday?" Apparently, her neighbor's friend had reported that I did not make my usual afternoon jaunt to Cafe Baviera or El Balcon. Disculpe, Tia.

Of course, this makes Parque Central the true litmus test for whether or not your new 'novio' is serious or not. According to Ana Lucia, the savvy 19 year old daughter of my Spanish teacher, if a guy won't hold your hand in Parque Central, he's just wasting your time (or he has another girlfriend/wife, who undoubtedly has friends who are currently spying him walking with you...)